In the middle of summer, with the thoughts of a new school year looming, it is a time to rest and rejuvenate, but sometimes, when they rest too much, they can have trouble getting back into the swing of their responsibilities. And every parent knows that when a child is too tired and resists change, they lash out. To help parents out, I created a list of responses for parents to use with preteens and teenagers.
Jump to:
- Key Takeaways
- Why Having a Comeback Line Ready Matters
- What age are these comeback lines for?
- #1 Comeback Situation
- #2 Comeback Situation
- #3 Comeback Situation
- #4 Comeback Situation
- #5 Comeback Situation
- #6 Comeback Situation
- More Comeback Lines (the obvious one)
- What NOT to Say When Kids Push Back
- Closing
Key Takeaways
- Having great comeback lines ready helps parents communicate effectively and stay calm during heated moments.
- These lines target preteens and teenagers (ages 10 to 16) as they navigate changes and challenges.
- Examples of great comeback lines include responding to excuses with a focus on solutions and understanding.
- Avoid negative phrases that shut down communication, such as 'Because I said so!' or 'You're being ridiculous.'
- Encouraging open dialogue fosters respect and allows kids to feel heard while establishing boundaries.
Why Having a Comeback Line Ready Matters
When kids push back, it's easy to react out of frustration, but a knee-jerk response rarely helps. Having a calm, prepared comeback line changes everything. Instead of matching your child's energy, you stay in control of the conversation and model the very behavior you're trying to teach. Think of these lines as your parenting toolkit, ready to use the moment things get heated, so you can respond with confidence rather than react with emotion.
What age are these comeback lines for?
Well, the age range is usually from preteen to teenager (about 10 to 16). That is when we have issues with their attitude and not wanting to do things. Plus, they may also be dealing with hormones and other growth spurts that can make them ornery.
#1 Comeback Situation
Kid: "Stop nagging me on what I need to do!"
Parent / Guardian: "Well, if you don't want to hear me talk, do what is expected of you...consistently."
#2 Comeback Situation
Kid: "I don't want to change my system; it's working fine."
Parent / Guardian: "You are doing a good job, but I want to help you tweak a few areas which will help you do a great job."
#3 Comeback Situation
Kid: "Why are you always judging me?"
Parent: "Isn't it better that I judge what you are doing than when you are out in the real world, and your boss judges you?"
#4 Comeback Situation
Kid: "I'm bored. What should I do?"
Parent: "I have lots to do. If you are bored, I can give you something to do." 😉
#5 Comeback Situation
Kid: "But, I ....excuses, excuses, excuses."
Parent: "Stop giving me excuses and tell me how you are going to change this behavior."
#6 Comeback Situation
Kid: "I didn't do anything wrong. What's the big deal!"
Parent: "The big deal is that as a parent, it's my job to make sure you grow up an intelligent and compassionate person who will contribute positively to this world."
More Comeback Lines (the obvious one)
Kid: "You never let me do anything!"
Parent: "Actually, let's make a list of everything you ARE allowed to do."
Kid: "That's not fair!"
Parent: "Life isn't always fair, but our house has rules so everyone feels respected."
Kid: "Everyone else's parents let them do it."
Parent: "I'm not everyone else's parent. I'm yours."
Kid: "You don't understand me."
Parent: "Help me understand. I'm listening."
What NOT to Say When Kids Push Back
It's tempting to fire back when your child is being difficult, but some responses make things worse instead of better. Here are common phrases to avoid:
- "Because I said so!" - Shuts down communication and teaches kids that authority beats reasoning. Try instead: "Here's why this matters to me - and I'd like to hear your thoughts too."
- "You always do this!" - "Always" and "never" statements feel like attacks and put kids on the defensive. Try instead: "This is the second time this week - let's talk about what's going on."
- "Fine, do whatever you want." - Signals that you've given up, and kids will test that boundary again and again. Try instead: "I need a minute to calm down. We'll finish this conversation in ten minutes."
- "Wait until your father/mother gets home." - Delays the conversation and builds unnecessary anxiety or resentment. Try instead: "We're going to talk about this right now, together."
- "You're being ridiculous." - Dismisses their feelings, even if their behavior is over the top. Try instead: "I can see you're really frustrated. Help me understand what's bothering you."
- "I don't care what everyone else's parents do." - True, but saying it this way closes the door instead of opening a conversation. Try instead: "Let's talk about why that rule exists in our house specifically."
- "You're grounded - end of discussion." - Consequences are valid, but cutting off dialogue teaches kids to shut down too. Try instead: "There will be a consequence for this, AND I still want to hear your side."
- "When I was your age..." - Kids immediately tune this one out every single time. Try instead: "I remember feeling the same way at your age. Here's what I learned from it."
- "You don't know what you are talking about" - This statement makes them feel like their feelings are not valued or heard. Try instead: "I hear you, ...." then ask questions to get more information.
Remember the goal isn't to be a perfect parent. It's to keep the conversation open so kids feel heard while still establishing boundaries.
Closing
That's it for now. I may revisit this later to add more. Do you have a great comeback line for parents? Please leave your Kid remark and Parent comeback below. I would love to hear it.
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Visit our other posts for help for kids ages 12-16.
Tim says
Yes, pretty sure I heard all of those as I was growing up 🙂
Rose M Griffith says
Great post! Made me laugh remembering my parents saying very similar things.
I don't have kids, but just spent a long weekend with my great niece & nephew. Thankfully at 4 and 2.5, I didn't hear too much of this. By the next visit...
Seana Turner says
I remember the bored one for sure. I said a similar thing... if you are bored, I have plenty of things to keep you busy. I think kids vent on parents because they know it is "safe" to say what they are really feeling. In contrast, with the rest of the world, they watch what they say so they won't get judged or rejected. Still, great to have a few good comebacks!
William Rusho says
Not having children of mine own, I can only relate what my parents said to me. You forgot the one they used almost all the time on me which was, "Because I said so, that's why"
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Sabrina says
Thanks William, I always felt "because I send so, that's why" was a parent's comeback line because they couldn't think of anything else to say and they wanted to stop the protest. I feel that we should never stop kids from expressing their dislike or like for something. If they do not express their feelings, they may create a distorted opinion about the situation in their mind. So, expressing is good. Thanks for stopping by.
Meredith @ The Palette Muse says
Wow, being a parent is hard! I think I said every one of these complaints to my parents, and I'm sure my kids will be saying them to me soon. I'll let you know if I come up with any good come backs for them...
Pamela Chollet says
I love your images, did you draw those Sabrina? When my children got mad at me I used to tell them,
"I've enrolled in a Mean Mommy class and I want to get an , A+" At one point, I think they really believed me!
Sabrina says
Thanks Pamela. No, I didn't draw this one. I added the voice bubbles and modified a purchased image. =) That is a great comeback! Have to use that one.
Ken Dowell says
I would love it if my son came to me asking for suggestions of what he should do. Don't see that happening anytime soon though.
Marquita Herald says
Great images and great comebacks! The one I immediately zeroed in on was the comment about "I'm bored" simply because I a BIG believer in getting kids involved in the responsibility of living early on so I'd be tempted to "assign" a project or chore that would teach her something - but that's just me.
krystle cook says
Love the "I'm bored one". I use that come back and it works like a charm. Instant not bored anymore lol.
Erica says
I love the illustration for your comebacks. I don't have a good comeback for parents, but I thought that yours were pretty good. And I think being frustrated with your parents is a right of passage. Parents can only do their best to let their kids know they are loved and lead them in a good direction. And in the meantime, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that someday, many years from now, they will stop in the middle of doing something and go, "You know, I think Mom was right..."
Phoenicia says
These are funny!
Children these days seem to know it all. Of course they only think they know it all. As they grow, they will realise their parents knew best and only had their interests at heart.
Jacqueline Gum says
Wow! These are great comebacks! I mean ones that I think might actually work. A few of them might even work for employees? Ah yes...sometimes it's hard to tell the difference! LOL Kidding.....
Lenie says
Sabrina, I used the I'm bored comeback all the time when my kids where growing up. Amazing how fast they find something interesting to do.
All the comebacks are good - I guess a little better than 'because I said so'.
Catarina says
Those comeback lines really make me laugh. Love the "if you are bored I can give you something to do"! Am glad my mother hadn't figured out that one out:-)
Beth Niebuhr says
You had me with the title! Great image too. I was hoping for a bit of snark but I have to say that these are good combacks.
Patricia Weber says
Sabrina, I particularly love how the comeback includes a call to step up. In particular I like this comeback line: “You ARE doing a good job, but I want to help you tweak a few areas which will help you do a great job.” Going from already doing good to doing great. Lovely.
Sabrina says
Thanks Patricia! I'm glad you loved them. =)