Making choices have been on my mind lately. We make daily choices, from what to wear (the easier decisions) to what direction we should take our career (the more difficult questions that aren't as easy to answer). Some choices we wish others would make for us. And some choices we wish to make ourselves. This post talks about the art of making choices and the struggles you may experience when you want to make a choice, and methods on how to combat indecision.
Jump to:
- The difference between choice and decision.
- Three Lecture Videos about Choosing
- The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar
- How To Make Hard Choices by Ruth Chang
- Sometimes It's Good To Give Up The Driver's Seat by Baba Shiv
- What type of decision can we make?
- Why do we struggle to make decisions on our choices?
- Making no Decision is a Decision
- Methods to help you make decisions quickly.
- Making Decisions Videos
The difference between choice and decision.
A choice is a noun that means an option. It is something that comes from a desire you may have. It can also come from an intention you have. The choice can also come from values and beliefs that you inherited from your parents or developed on your own as you grew. It is more of a gut reaction from known or unknown sources.
A decision or choosing is a verb. A decision is an action; you decide on what to do. It is in your power to decide. A decision is a result of reviewing the choices, analyzing them, and determining if the consequences are acceptable. The mind helps with decision-making.
Three Lecture Videos about Choosing
While researching the topic of choosing, I came across these three wonderful videos that really hit home on the art of making choices. There is so much great stuff that it is better to listen to them yourself to really get the information firsthand.
Note: These videos are not short. They range from 10 to 20 minutes long. You can listen to some or all the videos or view them on YouTube and save them for later or come back when you have time to watch them.
The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar
This talk is so empowering. Sheena talks about how we make choices and how we feel about the choices we make. She talks about unimportant and life-altering choices, and she shares her research about choosing and how different countries have different viewpoints on choosing.
How To Make Hard Choices by Ruth Chang
The big choices in your life are harder to make than those everyday decisions. This video discusses how we make these decisions and how the decisions influence our lives.
"Hard choices are not a curse, but a Godsend." ~ Ruth Chang >>> from How to make hard choices Youtube video. Share on XSometimes It's Good To Give Up The Driver's Seat by Baba Shiv
This talk was about how sometimes decisions made for you help you get through the trauma. Is it better to have decisions done for you, or is it better for you to make all the decisions? It's a great question to ponder. Watch the video and see for yourself.
What type of decision can we make?
We may make a decision to eat at a fast food place. Or, maybe we decide to make dinner at home with wholesome ingredients. We may decide to spend money on small unnecessary things and forego saving money for retirement. There are many choices out there that may be beneficial to you or may not be a great choice. It's all up to you and what you decide in your life.
Why do we struggle to make decisions on our choices?
Some people may not want to make choices at all or delay the choices beyond the deadline. They may be fearful of the unknown. Or, lack of information makes them feel less confident about the choice out there.
People may also feel that if the choice is not perfect, it won't be exactly what they want. These people are usually perfectionists, which can result in additional feelings of anxiety, depression, and even burnout in their lives.
Some people may not want to make a decision because they feel they will be upsetting others. And they don't want to make a choice because of the outcome.
In an article on Psychcentral.com, they talk about how the root of indecision can come from parental influence as well. Visit to read more struggles with indecision here.
Making no Decision is a Decision
I recently worked with a client who a former client approached to help her with a third-party group she was working with. As we discussed the situation in our virtual consultation, it became clear that there were missing answers to questions she had to help her make the decision. So we concluded to do nothing. And, yes, nothing is a choice. To make the difficult discussion more manageable, we talked about questions she should ask the former client to get a clearer answer to if she should work with this person again.
By the next call, she told me that the situation was clearer, and she was able to accept the situation without jeopardizing her financial and mental well-being. As she told me this, she realized she didn't need to take quick action. She allowed it time to evolve, and the decision came about naturally and was more beneficial to her and her client.
Methods to help you make decisions quickly.
There are many methods on how to be more decisive. Below are some of my favorites.
Make a Pros and Cons list
All you need to do is write down on a paper the positives of making a decision toward something and write down the negatives of what will happen if you decide to make a choice. Writing things down on paper will allow you to separate your thoughts and really find out what is going on. Just by writing things down will allow you to clear the cloud that may be around the choice.
Stay positive
When making decisions, some may look too much into the dark side of the situation. To the point that it scares them, and they turn away altogether. Our minds can easily scare us out of making a decision. So, staying optimistic will help us take the risk.
Talk it out with someone you trust.
Talking through the choices will help you see clearer and allow you to decide on the direction you want to go. Getting out of our heads can make a decision a lot easier.
Don't allow regret to block you.
Some people have gotten into the habit of regretting things they have done. This habit can be detrimental to the well-being of oneself. When you do make the decision, try not to regret it. You have looked at the situation and are confident in your decision. Looking backward and regretting only hurts you.
Making Decisions Videos
Feel free to visit these TedTalk videos that talk about making decisions.
The above video is by Patrick McGinnis, who talks about how to make faster decisions.
The above video is by Renata Salecl, and she talks about our unhealthy obsession with choice. With all the information we have now on the internet, the choice of ignorance and denial is on the rise.
This video above is by Sheena Iyengar, and she talks about how to make choosing easier. She talks about the choice overload problem and how to solve it.
I hope these choosing and choices videos, as well as methods on how to combat indecision, help you get your life moving in the direction you want.
Let's continue the conversation. What resonated with you when you watched these videos? Leave a comment below.
How can I help you? Visit my Virtual Organizing Consultation services, where I offer three different types of services.
Julie Bestry says
Great videos — I'm working my way through them. And I love that you pointed out that not making a decision is, in effect, making a decision to keep the status quo or not move forward with changes. It's so easy to let inertia keep us in place! As for regret, they say that we're much more likely to regret what we haven't done than what we have, and I've found that to be true in my life. I'm very cautious about the actions I take, but by being overly cautious, I've missed out on things. But I guess we do pick the best options at the time and can only hope to be better when we know more. Great perspective!
Janet Schiesl says
This is a wonderful blog Sabrina, thanks for sharing.
Diane N Quintana says
This post about choices, Sabrina, alligns so well with Kara Cutruzulla's newsletter this morning. She also talked about choices. Deciding whether or not to do something really boils down to 'Do' or 'Don't'.
When you don't do something, you do nothing. Which as you said is a choice. And often it is the best choice because you allow things to percolate, marinate, or just be there until you're ready to move on it.
When you do something you take the next logical action.
I haven't watched your videos but I will. Thank you so much for including them as I'm 100% sure they will also provide a new perspective.
Seana Turner says
Wow - a lot of resources here that I will need to take my time and listen to. I do believe we can get stuck in indecision. I tend to make decisions quickly, which sometimes works out well, and others times not so much. But that is just the way I am.
My daughter tends to spin and spin over decisions. Thinking of Baba's talk, she definitely would have preferred that I make decisions for her. Now that she is off on her own, that is no longer an option. In the end, as long as she is not in distress, I think being forced to make decisions is a good thing. We learn to trust our instincts more, and develop a comfort level with coping if things don't work out.
Nobody makes perfect decisions, whether it is which job to take, or what shirt to buy. It's a phrase I use often with clients who feel bad about letting go of things they regret having bought, but don't want to "waste" the money.
Jana Arevalo says
This is an interesting concept when it comes to decluttering. Making choices big or small requires the same energy, and I think a lot of organizing clients, simply don't want to choose. I love all the videos that you included for further thought. Thank you for your article.
William Rusho says
The TED talks are one of my favorite shows to listen to on NPR. The ones you posted are very useful to listen to, we all have choices to make, even when we think we don’t have any options, Thanks for sharing this wonderful post.
Janet Barclay says
Thanks for curating these! I am constantly working on my decision-making skills, and try to watch at least one TED Talk per week, so I've added these to my list for future viewing.
Sabrina says
Thanks for stopping by and committing. TED Talks help me too. I'm glad they help you as well.
Adele Yuboco says
Our lives are made up really of the choices we make and don't make. I love what Ruth Chang said about hard choices being important to help in our growth. Come to think of it, if all choices were easy, life will be really boring.
Sabrina says
Good point, Adele. Thanks for stopping by.
Marquita Herald says
I love TED Talks and have seen the first 2 talks you shared, but Baba Shiv's was new to me and I agree with other comments here that it's good to be reminded that we don't have all the answers and it's okay to ask questions and reach out to others. Excellent message!
Pamela Chollet says
Gosh, they're even choices about making choices. My mom used to have an expression, Make any choice the right choice.
We really never know do we? Even if you make a million, "benefits and concerns" lists and carefully weigh each possible outcome. It's kind like doing research, there are always hidden variables and deviations we can't predict.
Beth Niebuhr says
Sheena's talk is amusing and I enjoyed it. Choice certainly does vary from culture to culture. Sometimes even in our own country people get it wrong. I was shopping with my college age daughter years ago. She was very thin and wore clothes well. Neverless when she asked the clerk if she had a belt that would go well with the outfit, the clerk sniffed derisively and said that a belt wasn't appropriate for it. So we didn't buy a belt. Nor did we buy the outfit. We like to make our own choices. But remember when doctors made all the choices for us rather than giving us a say in the decision? Things do evolve.
Sabrina says
Good point Beth. Thanks for commenting.
Ken Dowell says
Enjoyed the talk by Baba Shiv. When you seek the advice of a doctor or lawyer or financial advisor you are admitting that you don't have all the information to make the decisions you are faced with. Maybe instead of being in the driver's seat you want to be in the back seat of a limo, so you might not make all the decisions but you have to final say in where you want to end up.
Donna Janke says
I'm glad I took the time to watch the videos. Very interesting perspectives on decision making.
Meredith @ The Palette Muse says
I was helping my daughter organize her closet the other day and was thinking about this concept. We were both mentally exhausted after having to make about 100 decisions about what to keep or get rid of. I like the concept of choices being a gift. There are many people all over the world who don't get the freedom of choice, so rather than be stressed out, we should be thankful.
Sabrina says
That is a great point. Thanks for sharing. Congratulations to you and your daughter for clearing the clutter. =)
Lenie says
Hi Sabrina, you are so right about having to make choices everyday - right or wrong? what to have for supper? Where to go on holidays? etc. but the career choices are probably the most difficult. I don't have to worry about that anymore - my career is done - however it was my career that led to my blogging and from there to learning so now I am making choices on what to learn first, what is most important to increasing traffic.
I don't think I would like to be in the position where others make choices for you - no one else can quite view things the same way.
Jacqueline Gum says
Seems like each moment is a choice moment, right? It's almost a relief to know that some things really are out of our control! But then, you have tp choose to believe that! Hahaha! See what I mean? Love the videos!