We all worry about the next step in various areas of our lives. Getting ready to declutter is no exception. Today, we are talking about a discussion I had with a potential client and how her worrying and family negativity is stopping her from taking action. Read on to see the questions to ask yourself to stop worrying about decluttering.
I spoke with a woman looking to clear her small home of clutter. She kept telling me that she was just too busy. And then said that she would have to maintain it. Well, of course, I thought. It seems ineffective to spend time and money having a professional organizer to set up goals for every room in the house, and you don't want to maintain it.
She continued to say that her aunt and brother wouldn't help her because they thought she was too messy and would never keep it organized. If you know chronically disorganized people, please don't say this to them. There are many places to get help and support, like Institute for Challenging Disorganization, and other communities that can help a person with their disorganization. By saying that they will never keep it organized, you will stop them in their tracks, and they will never forget that statement when they want to make a change.
“Do not allow negative people to turn you into one of them.” – Anonymous. Read more: Questions To Ask Yourself to Stop Worrying about Decluttering Click To TweetAfter expressing her situation, I asked, "Let's put aside what your family is telling you. Do you want to get your home organized and feel more in control of your life?" She said, "Yes." "Well, then let's stop listening to the doubters and start from the beginning," I said.
Start small when organizing for the first time.
I told her she needed to start small and stop worrying about getting the entire project completed. Adding a recurring appointment (with an alarm) for each week to her digital calendar works well to start decluttering. I like Sunday afternoons (between 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM) because people have usually done everything they need to do over the weekend, and they have a few hours before they start preparing dinner and getting ready for the next day.
Block out 4 hours on Sunday to Organize a Small Area of the Home.
When the day comes to take action, I told her to allocate a few hours at first, clearing out the clutter in the home's main area, like your living room or kitchen. Each week, add a few more hours till you get to about a 4-hour time slot. In four hours, you can dismantle an area and reorganize it completely.
When picking an area of the home, start with the main areas that others will see because
1. You will be able to see the results and how you feel about the uncluttered space, which will reinforce positive behavior.
2. You will show your family that you can clear the clutter on your own and keep it that way.
I explained to her that clutter doesn't happen overnight. So, it will take time to declutter.
"We collect things over the years, so accept that moving forward and clearing the space will take time." ~ Sabrina Quairoli at Questions To Ask Yourself to Stop Worrying about Decluttering #declutteringtips Click To TweetAfter we finished the conversation, she was calmer and more motivated to do something about her space. She didn't need to listen to her family anymore and be a defeatist. She also realized that the time constraint, not her being messy, was the real issue.
The takeaway from this conversation:
We are fearful of clearing clutter in certain areas of our homes. We don't necessarily want the chaos, but we also don't know what to expect when we can't blame the cluttered space anymore.
Questions to Ask Yourself If You Are Worrying About Decluttering
To help you curb the fear and take action sooner, here are questions to ask to help you start clearing your clutter.
What is the worst thing that could happen if you get rid of this stuff?
How would I deal with this situation if it did happen? What would the following steps be? How will I take care of myself during this issue?
What can I do NOW that will help me feel more comfortable when letting go of things?
Feel free to share this free printable.
These responses are different for everyone. What were your answers to these questions? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.
I hope this helps you get motivated to clear the clutter in your home. And, if you need help, please get in touch with a Professional Organizer. Don't struggle on your own. Thank you for stopping by. Please share your questions and comments below.
Below are additional posts I found online to help you.
5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Rid of Anything
3 Questions I’m Going to Start Asking Myself Before I Get Rid of Something
Please note these are affiliate links through Amazon, and at no additional cost to you, I will earn affiliate fees if you decide to make a purchase.
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Janet Schiesl
You have 3 great questions. I see people that don't consider what will happen - positive or negative - if they declutter and organize. Talking through what that will look like does help calm the anxiety people have before starting an organizing project.
Diane N Quintana
When someone is struggling to get organized they get bombarded by the clutter shouting at them to take care of it and others (family members, partner, spouse) shouting at them - calling them names because they haven't dealt with the mess. Then the person can become riddled with doubt as to the best course of action.
I love the questions you pose and the guidance you provided your client. As someone else commented - as professional organizers we are in a unique position to shepherd our clients as they find new footing and get themselves as organized as is right for them.
Julie Bestry
So many of the positive momentum in life (for getting education, for getting healthier, for getting organized) is stymied by other people's attitudes or even fear of what those other people will say. Constructive criticism can be helpful, but anyone whose comments keep you from moving forward are, as you are indicating, an obstacle. I love your printable for helping people do a little self-therapy to get past the worrying.
Stacey Agin Murray
It's going to be much easier for your readers to start decluttering after downloading and using your printable! The true work of decluttering begins after pushing negativity and self-doubt aside and asking ourselves the important questions.
Sabrina Quairoli
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Stacey!
Jonda Beattie
Buying into what others think rarely helps with getting rid of clutter and getting organized. People must think about what they really want for themselves - not what others want. Then they are free to make their own plans to get the job done.
Olive Wagar
Your compassion for your clients is evident in what you write! I also appreciated the quote that clutter is a cry for help. As professional organizers, we have the unique opportunity to offer words of kindness, encouragement, and respect to each client. It may be the only positive words they hear.
Linda Samuels
Clutter can become so overwhelming and paralyzing. And then, as you expressed, other factors kick in...like the negative self-talk, the worry, the letting go issues, the negative comments from friends and family. You've given a good framework to get started and move past that overwhelm. It often begins with asking some great questions. I like the ones you've suggested. Very often I find that even if a client is resistant to letting go at first, as they exercise their choices and letting go muscle, it becomes easier and quite freeing.
Nancy Haworth
This is a great post. You are right, sometimes the defeatist attitudes of friends and family can make it difficult. I love your suggestion of setting a weekly recurring appointment with an alarm to remind someone to work on their home decluttering project.
Ellen Delap
Great questions! It's true that worry is a big part of procrastination. It keeps you in paralysis. Processing these questions helps move you forward.
Maureen DeGarmo
I like your interactive approach, complete with thought-provoking questions. My favorite is, "We don’t necessarily want the clutter but we also don’t know what to expect...."
Sarah Soboleski
I love your quote "Clutter is a cry for help..." It's so true and so validating for many people. Definitely sharing!
Jill Robson
I agree, Sabrina, people do not need the negative comments from family and friends, although they think they are helping!.
Janet Barclay
It must have been so discouraging for your client's family not to believe in her. I must be careful not to treat other people that way.
Phoenicia
I can happily live without clutter. I do not like mess of any sort but I have learnt to become tolerant as we have small children.
I take photographs of my children's pictures and work, keeping their most favourite.
I also have two storage boxes for each child with their first outfit/shoes/baby book and so on. This is their special box just for them.
My house rule is everything has its place. I like items to be kept in particular spots. It is less stressful when you need to locate something quickly.
I tidy as I go along so mess does not mount up to a one hour job.
Thank you for sharing this.
Susan cooper
Clutter makes me feel nervous. I literally can't relax if my home is cluttered or in disarray until I get up and fix it. So you and I are on the same page. You have great ideas for those who need a nudge in getting started.