Negative talk can quickly stop anyone from clearing the clutter. Statements like,
"I can't do this!"
"I won't be able to handle it."
"I will never get rid of any of this stuff."
"I spent lots of money on all those things. It's like throwing money away if I get rid of it."
"I don't deserve to have a relaxing home."
"I must be crazy for making this mess."
"I am so embarrassed. I can't believe I did this."
Sounds familiar? After 20 years working with people clearing their clutter, I heard some of these statements at one point or another while going through decluttering. And, it takes a toll on the people.
I am here to tell you that it is OK and you are not alone. Here are tips that will help you overcome negative talk to motivate you to take action and complete your organizing projects. Take a deep breath, and let's begin.
Overcoming Negative Talk To Remove the Clutter in your life.
Create realistic goals. Make smaller, easy to complete, goals that will help you got through projects. Starting with 15-minute goals work nicely. This will give you the confidence to move on and complete the project. Here are links to my 15-minute posts.
Create affirmations:
Doing this will keep you confident and allow you to focus on the action, not the negative talk. Here are 10 Affirmation Quotes to Change Your Year for the Better post I wrote. Feel free to share the images.
Smile:
This comfortable and straightforward task will help you feel more content with your life. If you don't believe it, try it for a day and see how it changes your outlook and your negative talk. Here's a good article about why we should smile. Feel free to read it.
Be aware of what you hear and see:
We are influenced by our surroundings every day. Surround yourself with positive and inspiring sounds and sights. Be mindful of what you watch and listen to on television and social media. Facebook allows you to customize what you see, so take advance of it. To do this, click the top right of the post and select "I don't want to see this." Also, these days, the news is everywhere. So, be aware of how much news you watch and how it influences your mood. If it affects you, maybe cut back to once a day. Or maybe read instead of listening or watching the news. Be aware of the people around you. Make sure they do not influence you as well.
Remind yourself that you have control of the situation:
You are responsible, and you are capable of clearing the clutter.
To help you get even more motivated and overcome negative talk that stops you from clearing the clutter, here are some quotes. Feel free to share.
"You're going to go through tough times - that's life. But I say, 'Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.' See the positive in negative events."
~Joel Osteen
"Positive anything is better than negative anything."
~ Elbert Hubbard
"Our minds are powerful. Only allow in what supports and motivates you to be a better you."
~ Sabrina Quairoli
I hope this helps you get motivated to remove the clutter. What negative talk stops you from clearing the clutter? Please leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.
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I really like your own quote OUR MINDS ARE POWERFUL. ONLY ALLOW IN WHAT SUPPORTS AND MOTIVATES YOU TO BE A BETTER YOU. Great advice in all aspects of life!
Thank you!
Often when I have something to do that I am not sure I can do I start negative talk like, "this is going to be hard, or it's going to take a long time." Eventually when I get around to doing the task I have always overstated the issue and I learn that I can do just about anything. But for me there is no way to avoid the hesitation and negative thoughts. Just do it!
This is an insightful post. I often encounter negative self-talk among my organizing clients. I find that positive comments help motivate people to continue with the decluttering process. Overwhelm is another hurdle, and I also agree that creating realistic goals and breaking things down into small steps is important.
The negative self-talk is often present when my clients are organizing and feeling challenged by the task at hand. Very often they are unaware of what they're saying and how often they are saying it. I have two thoughts about it. First, they are verbalizing their anxiety about the situation. So it's essential for them to to be able to say what they are thinking out loud and have someone listen and acknowledge those thoughts. But it's just as important to gently remind them that by constantly repeating what they can't do or are afraid of doing, they will make moving forward more challenging. So I listen, acknowledge, and then help them redirect. And then I am the mirror to remind them of the successful steps (however big or small) they've taken. Over time, the negative talk gets replaced by positive statements and progress.
I was doing a 5 km fun run with my daughter. I was telling her that I say to myself " I don't need to stop running, stop being lazy I'm not even tired." My daughter said " be gentle with yourself, if you want to walk a bit it is OK." You're blog is about being gentle to yourself, I just really liked that phrase from my daughter.
I love that phrase your daughter said to you. It's so important that we never forget that we should love ourselves first. Thank you for sharing.
I wrote a similar post once because I agree that this is so important. Sometimes injecting positivity is one of the most important things I do when I enter a client's home. It is easy to fall into the downward spiral of self-condemnation, but it ultimately just undermines progress.
Thank you for such a great post. I know sometimes I get bombarded with negative thoughts; some people do not get success, and regret that you have it. I guess knocking you down, makes them feel better. Thanks for sharing this.
Love it - this should be the first step in any decluttering project! These are some really good tips and could be applied to all sorts of things you may be struggling with in life.
People actually say, "I don’t deserve to have a relaxing home"? That is one of the saddest things I have ever heard.
Sad but true. Many years ago it happened and it was, of course, not the exact wording but very close. They think life has to be difficult whether it is what they watched from their parents when they were childhood or they created that idea on their own over the years. Either way, I try to show them that a home should be an oasis, an escape from the outside world.
I love that you start with saying things can be done in small amounts. That's the problem I have when I think of de-cluttering anything - oh dear what a huge project etc. But you rarely have to do it all at once. Negative thoughts are the worst, and I think your assessment of them can be applied to virtually any aspect of our lives. Begone!!
It's amazing isn't it, how much we're exposed to negativity throughout our day.And the negativity isn't all self-generated. The media, news, TV, music, and literature bombards our senses 24/7. I'm surprised we don't explode from being filled with negative content.
Well said and I love the quotations! I rarely fall into negative self talk, but when I do it seldom lasts very long at all and I believe that has to do with all my work on emotional resilience over the years. We may not be able to control all of the circumstances in our life, but we always have control over how we respond to them! Thanks for the inspiration.
Having gone through a downsizing last year, I can attest to how daunting the decluttering task can seem until you break it in chunks. I hadn't thought about how negative thoughts might affect the process before. Good post. Making a dent in every one small area helps one become more positive about tackling more.
Hi Sabrina, this post is especially useful for seniors. We so often hang onto things because of sentimental reasons but once you get on, you need to get rid of stuff. My motivation now is asking- would any of the boys want this? If I think not, out it goes. But I know of at least one person who is unable to sell their home because they can't stand to get rid of their junk. That only leaves the burden with the children once their gone, not really fair. So spread the word - maybe some seniors will recognize their need to declutter.
Lenie, Thanks for mentioning seniors. It is an area near and dear to my heart. I have worked with lots of seniors over the years. They have the most diffculty getting rid of stuff because their stuff has been around longer than say a 30 year old or 40 year old. When downsizing, I always remind them that they should only keep the items that they would want to pass on to their children. This lights a fire under them because they don't want to give the children everything they own.
So, about a half hour ago I removed the clutter off the coffee table in the living room. It only took about 15 minutes and it feels so much better. Both my husband and I are prone to clutter (actually, he is even worse than me.) Yet, when I take the time to clean up for both of us, I feel so much calmer. Ok off to my next project of cleaning the kitchen. I hate spending a beautiful sunny day doing this, but it will be worth it!
This is a good one! LOL I never think that clearing clutter is negative in any way. But then, I am a bit of neat freak after all. I think where I differ with some people is what constitutes clutter! My ex-husband used to accuse me of throwing away the newspaper before it came!